Two decades on from first touching down on ‘planet Cardiff’, it looks like Justin Kerrigan, the director of Human Traffic, is finally getting the band back together.

While details at this moment remain sketchy, it does indeed seem that we will be once again going on the lash with Jip, Koop, Lulu, Moff, Nina et al, in Human Traffic 2.

“We’re doing Human Traffic 2!” Kerrrigan told the crowd at an event at Cardiff’s Tramshed at the weekend, to mark 20 years since the first movie’s release. “It’s about one race, the human race, and a reaction to Brexit. We love you people and we can’t wait to see you again!”

As to whether one of the first movie’s most-loved characters (Moff) is set to return, Kerrigan added: “Danny Dyer’s in it! Danny Dyer’s playing Moff! Ask him on social networks!”

On that bombshell, 909originals presents our top five scenes from Human Traffic, which if you ask us, deserve to be up there with Taxi Driver’s “are you talking to me” and the bit where the alien bursts out of John Hurt’s chest. With absolutely no mention of Peter Andre, of course. 🙂

5. “The weekend has landed…”

With student bedrooms all over the land housing a Trainspotting ‘Choose Life’ poster at the time, Human Traffic needed a similar call to action. Enter Jip (John Simm), with a rousing battle cry. Although, “73 quid in the back burner” wouldn’t get you as far these days, we suspect.

4. What Star Wars is REALLY about…

While most movies about dance music portray after parties as full-on raves with epic soundsystems and a gaggle of attractive house guests, the reality is more like this… hours of meandering dialogue about random topics, dotted with occasional mongo epiphanies. Energy 52’s Café Del Mar adds a sprinkle of fairy dust (as if they needed it). [See also: Spliff Politics; Moff’s dinner table interrogation]

3. THAT intro

Backed by Fatboy Slim’s Build it Up, Tear it Down, the montage that opens Human Traffic is a thing of beauty, splicing footage from raves both old and new with clips from the Criminal Justice Bill and Freedom to Party protests. Turn it up loud! [See also: Tom Tom’s ‘Summer of Love’ scene]

2. “Any jungle in, guy?”

Having just fobbed off a hip hop junkie with some rare wax by the Itchy Trigger Finger Niggas, Koop (Shaun Parkes) is the ringmaster for one of the film’s most epic moments, as he introduces the “Tarzan and Jane of jungle”, which, lest we forget, “could turn Hare Krishna into a bad bwoy”. Aphrodite’s Stalker (sadly not included on the official OST) provides the epic backing track.

1. “Nice one bruvva…!”

The can of warm beer. The beige toilet paper. The cordless telephone. Moff’s (Danny Dyer) finest moment.

But will Human Traffic 2 will be any good?

Let’s leave that one to one of the first movie’s lesser-appreciated characters, news reporter Jeremy Factsman: “Whats your name? What have you had? Reach for the lasers. Safe as f**k.” 🙂

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